Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
