She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
