The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
