btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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