When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize