I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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