AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
