went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
