Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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