Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
