What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
foreskin is a definite game changer
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
