This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
