It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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