I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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