Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize