remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
