she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize