Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
