how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
