WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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