STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
