I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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