Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
