dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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