she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
