I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
