You work out of a Hotel?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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