just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
