Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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