my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
