my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
