But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
