It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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