I think I died a long time ago.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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