Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
not ubering you a puppy
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize