You made me cry and you don't even care
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
only you would photoshop your dick
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
