just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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