Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
