Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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