It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i love accidental penises.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize