Christians are straight up FREAKS
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
