you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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