He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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