then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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