***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
