i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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