So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
