Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
