there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The best revenge is premature balding
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
