I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize