im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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