what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
