She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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