WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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