I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my being single is dangerous.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
