i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
