I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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