Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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