Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
