And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
